Is Being Kind and a Good Person a Toxic Coping Mechanism?

Could being kind or a good person be a toxic coping mechanism? Yes!

This is me, many times, but lately it's starting to make sense to me since a while, and I am trying to act on it.

Here it goes:

First, about us, who feel we are the kinder ones. Truth is, yes, we have a caring heart… but when you look at this psychologically (even philosophically, but we can get to that later), it's actually us being selfish.

By being kind, we expect a good harmonal reward, even without being aware of it.

If for every good act, all we got was pain, even mothers would not be able to show the love they show to their children all through. That's how humans work at a biological level.

So in conclusion, there is no difference between those who don't give a damn about us and we, who seek a damn from them.

The world has always been run on mutual emotional transactions (that happen between friends, family, and even strangers) whether we are aware of it or not.

We do, at times, offer selfless favors, which will always be in tiny bits, and again most times when we are emotionally able to (technically kinda impossible because we don't control the feel good harmones that we get via a good act like we control our muscles to swallow water).
So how can we make most of this above information about how we function?

We must realise that us being available to be used like tissue paper is again an insecure part of us… a part that wants to feel accepted… belong… with a purpose (which is human and has its own beauty), which we are expecting from people whose emotions and favors are not in our control and not always mutually favorable.

It is a disrespect to our existence as a singular human...

Hence, not immediately, but with efforts, we can seek the same validation (that happens chemically) via the work to come to a state where our confidence is at a healthy level to auto generate it to a certain extent, or via healthy mediums like our interests.

Happy if you got till here, LOL.

All was said in a frank but kind tone.

This is my understanding and reading articles on our behavior.

~ Keshav Porwal

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